Why stealing cars are a bad thing
by snake screamer
Summary: As Mallory will soon attest to.


"Yeesh, what a night, you lot suffer a yakuza fight for nothing, with Cyril apparently being a deadweight." Ray muttered

"For the last time, we were the bad guys here!" Cyril said

"Oh for the love of, just admit the real reason is cause you stink at shooting and was afraid of shooting yourself or the driver somehow!" Lana snapped

"Seriously that a much better reason, and far more believable." Pam said

"OH shut, up, we wouldn't even be doing this if Archer didnt assume his car was stolen by the yakuza!" Cyril snapped

"Technically that was Pam fault for putting that idea in his head."

"Yeah... that was my bad." Pam admitted

"Speaking of, how is Archer?" Ray questioned

"In Krieger lab still mumbling, I think those two revelation in one night send him to a sleepwalker like catatonic state." Lana said "Krieger and Cheryl are trying to snap him out of it."

(Linebreak)

Cheryl was dress as a harem dancer juggling flaming torches. Archer was still mumbling.

"Dang, I thought for sure that would either have him drooling in lust or running in terror at the sight of Cheryl with flaming torches." Krieger said. "Next test!"

(linebreak)

"This is why i left the farm, way to easy to have a mental breakdown with jerkass relatives around." Pam said

"True that." Ray said

"Can't argue you with you there." Lana said with Cyril grunting in agreement.

(Linebreak)

"Hmm, I thought for sure after seeing a crocodile that would snap him out of it." Krieger

"Yeah but who would be scared of a stuff crocodile." Cheryl said tapping the creature in question

"Quiet you." Krieger said then mutter "Looks like i have no choice, if Archer is stuck thinking of those two things i'm going to have to make him think of them at the same time. That will snap him out of this catatonic state... and also possible drive him crazy."

"OHH! I WANNA HELP!" Cheryl cackled

(Linebreak)

"What are you idiots doing!" Mallory snapped as she enter the break room "Break time was done 10 minutes ago. Now get out and-" She was interrupted as Archer ran the hall screaming like a crazy person.

"Making him think of both bike and car worked to well!" Krieger shouted as both he and Cheryl ran past holding tranq guns.

Mallory blinked "He's still upset about that?

"This is why you have to explain things to children." Lana said

"Nonsense, this is why boarding school was invented." Mallory stated

"Yeah cause that turned him into a functioning adult." Ray snarked

"Alright so it's not a perfect process." Mallory said as Archer screamed as he ran past

"Did not account for him being frigging nimble." Krieger muttered

"I could have warn you about that." Cheryl stated as they also ran past

"You could have at least gave the stuff back after punishing him." Pam pointed out

"That's the stupidest thing i heard coming out of your fat piggy mouth. Why would i give his stuff back after taking it."

"Cause than he realize he will need to take better precaution in guarding them." Lana said

"That's ridiculous." Mallory said "If he couldn't guard his own things a first time, then why would i give him a chance to lose them a second time."

"You do realize that part of our job requirement is guarding things... right?" Ray questioned.

"I said HIS things, not other people." Mallory scoffed "Plus considering his job of also taken other people thing, I like to thing it ultimately even things out."

"Wow." Lana blinked.

"Oh hush up!" Mallory snapped. her cellphone rang "Oh for the love of- WHAT?" Mallory snapped answering her phone

"LOCK THE BUILDING!" Krieger voice shouted throught the phone "We somehow got to the garage and he's stealing someone car! Correction, he successfully stolen someone car, and cheryl cheering as he drove past us. And he gone."

Everyone gawked at the phone before running (Or in Ray case rolled) to the garage

"My car still here!" Ray said

"Mine too!" Lana said

"I think all are cars are-" Pam stopped as Mallory could be heard screaming. "Scratch that."

(Linebreak)

 _"I am reporting at the sight of a car crash at the hudson river, sir could you tell us what happen."_

 _"It was the weirdest thing. Some screaming dude drove the car through the park screaming then jump out as the car crash through the bar fence and into the river, he then shouted 'TAKE THAT MOTHER, THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOUR THINGS!' Then he mutter something bout going home to rub sand on someone cause he said they were in on something. Personally i thing the guy was off his meds." The witness stated_

Mallory turn off the screen with her eye twitching and a alcohol bottle in hand. Everyone shared a scared look with one another. Well except for one.

"Well guess he gave you a taste of your own medicine huh?" Cheryl said, she dodge the bottle as it smashed into the wall.


End file.
